Root Of All Evil
If I had to chose one word to describe my early 20’s, insecure would be it. Graduating college, realizing money doesn’t grow on trees and learning that credit cards need to be paid off (and with interest too!?!) all fueled this feeling. By 23, the insecurity turned into extreme anxiety. How did I deal with this? By binge…eating and shopping. I opened up more credit cards, spent more and lived well above my means.
Running away from your problems is a funny thing. You keep running (in my case spending) and instead of reaching happiness, you are greeted with a null/empty feeling. So you think “well if i have this purse that will make me happy, and if i eat out at this restaurant that will make me feel lavish, and if i buy my friends free tickets to concerts they will like me.” But the fact is, it’s an endless circle of “will make me” this and that.
I paid off the first credit card I ever opened yesterday, $1,300. Never has “spending” money felt so good. But there is doubt and insecurity rooted in the back of my head. Yes, I’m attempting to ignore them but I keep thinking: “OMG I can’t believe I did this, Can I do this? F Yes I can, But can I? Oooohhh Gucci”
In our quest to be financial independent it is VITAL to shut insecurity down. Sounds easier said than done, right? Well not if you shift your mindset. You have to focus on temporary aspects, i.e.: this too shall pass. Do this by keeping an insecurity diary, write down every negative thought and then counteract it with a plan (goal diary). Take a bubble bath, meditate, go for a long run. Do anything that makes you relax (and is FREE!). You are worthy of taking control of your finances. Take one day at a time and soon your insecurity will turn into security!